I have become the annoying version of myself

I am moody. 
I cry at episodes of the The Office.  Really?  It is supposed to make me laugh! 
I try to think about things other than the baby, but it is sort of impossible.  This thing is controlling my life at this point so it is hard not to talk/think about it 24/7.
I snap at my husband for stupid reasons.  Like when he accidentally knocks something out of my hand.  I know this is an accident.  I tell myself not to snap.  I still snap.
I get way annoyed at people for the simplest things.  I may have given someone the evil eye on my way to work this morning for looking at me.  It's that bad.
I want everything my way.  Especially when it comes to the baby.  My clothes don't fit.  I can't wear my wedding rings because I'm suddenly allergic.  I have to take what feels like a million medicines a day.  Let me decorate the nursery how I want, dang it!
In my rare moments of sanity, I realize I am probably the most annoying person on the planet.  Please pray for my husband.

One Day, This Will Be a Really Funny Story

A couple nights ago, the Grape Juice Fiasco happened.  I won't go into details (if you really want to know, ask my mother in law, she loves telling the story) but suffice to say my baby controlled body does not like grape juice and therefore said grape juice ended up all over my house.  Yikes.  It was terrible but my husband was an absolute champ.  He cleaned up everything after wiping up my tears, telling me I was still cute (he is such a liar, but a lovable one), and sending me to the shower.   My dad, who was already planning to stay the night, arrived not long after I got in the shower and helped him.  Do I not have the best men in my life ever?!  I definitely think so.  When all the clean up was done and we were sitting in the den chatting, my dad said "Well, one day this will be a really funny story."  I just had to laugh because he was totally right and I feel like that statement pretty much applies to everything with this pregnancy so far.  It wasn't fun at the time, but I'm thankful I'm a person who can laugh at myself eventually.  And now I have plenty of stories ready for the baby about all the trouble he or she caused even before they were born and the wonderful dad (and grandad) they have that took care of me through it all. 
I have also learned a lot about the gospel and my own faith through this pregnancy.   It has been an extremely emotional ride from the very beginning full of highs and lows, but then that's how life is.  We can't be happy all the time.  Things won't always go the way we want them to.  Grape juice fiascos hit all of us sometime. :)  The trick is learning to cheerfully endure all the bad stuff until we move past it and onto better things.  So until the day I'm holding a little baby in my arms who is going to make all of this worth it, I'm just going to laugh and say "One day, this will all be a funny story." :)

***

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry.  I prefer to laugh.  Crying gives me a headache."

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley

ZzZzzzz

What have I been doing lately?  Sleeping.  For hours and hours.  Usually I just tag it on to whatever else I had planned to do that evening.  All my activities now have /sleeping added to the end.  Eating/sleeping.  Reading/sleeping.  TV watching/sleeping.  Talking to Cory/sleeping.  You get the picture.  I sometimes even take a nap during my afternoon break at work.  Sitting up in my chair.  I am THAT tired some (okay, most) days and have gotten pretty good at sleeping in non bed environments.  This becomes problematic when we have guests over I'm supposed to be entertaining them and instead I fall asleep in my chair mid conversation.  Yikes. 
Basically, growing a baby talks a lot of energy apparently.    I am still coming to terms with this baby over the amount of sleep it requires me to have.  If I try and stay up too late, anytime past 10, I start feeling sick.  That will teach me, huh?  Once again, I try and fight the battle for control and lose.  Oh well.  At least now I have started to have random burst of energy some days which is better than nothing.  I even woke up and made Cory breakfast the other morning.  So I'm not quite Rip Van Winkle, but I'm getting close.  :)

Book Worm Wednesday: My List

So writing a spiel about books I have read takes more energy than I currently have at the moment.  So instead I wanted to share a list of some books I want to read but haven't yet.  Some are out already and some will be released later this year.  Now that I have a library card, the list just keeps expanding and I can't say how much I love the library.  A part of going there makes me feel a little strange, like "How can I be allowed to read all these books for FREE?!"  I am very lucky to live in a county with such an awesome library!  Anyway, on to the list!

1. The Help - I'm not sure why I've gone so long without reading this.  It is definitely the type of book I like but I think all the hype dissuaded me.  I'm not a huge fan of "blockbuster books" but I really want to read this one now.

2. Clockwork Prince - This is the second book in a series I'm reading and doesn't come out until December.  I started reading it before I knew what steampunk was but now I'm in love.

3. The Name of the Star - This one comes out next month and it is a mystery series about a Jack the Ripper copycat.  I've read a few things by the author, Maureen Johnson, who is so very funny so I'm interested to see what this is going to be like.

4.  Twelfth Night- I'm trying to throw more classics into my reading rotation and I actually really like Shakespeare.  I read a few of his plays when I was at school in England and really liked them.  I like that the stories are so familiar and timeless.

That isn't even close to starting my list but making babies takes a lot of energy out of you.  I'm off to have a lie down and watch some HGTV! :)

16 Weeks Appointment: Drama, Drama, Drama

I saw a new doctor for my appointment yesterday, which will happen for most of my upcoming appointments. I’m in a pretty big practice (8 doctors) and they like you to see everyone because you don’t know who will be on call when your baby is born. Before today I had only seen my doctor and one other doctor both of whom I just loved. They made me feel totally at ease and I felt like they really cared about me and my baby. That is definitely not how I felt yesterday. First of all, the doctor’s (I shall call him doctor x) phone rings as he is walking into the room and instead of saying “Excuse me, I’ll be right back” he proceeds to answer the phone right there and carry on a 5 minute conversation while I’m just sitting there. Granted, as far as I could tell it was work related but still not a great first impression. At this point I don’t even know his name. I do, however, know the name of the person he is speaking to on the phone (Candace). He finally says “Sorry about that. Doctor X.” He then proceeds to scan my chart at record speed “X, Y, Z looks good” he says. “Umm…I’ve lost 4 pounds since my last visit. Should I be worried about that?” He then tells me that I shouldn’t and I’m trying to tell him somewhat about how I’ve been feeling and slowly fading into mumbling because I can tell he really doesn’t care. He walks over pulls out the bed extender and then just looks at me like I am apparently supposed to know what I am doing. As this is my first appointment in the OB suite, I have no clue but assume lying down is the right choice. He doesn’t ever tell me what he is going to do, he just starts measuring my stomach and then listening to the heartbeat without saying anything about it. I try to tell the story about the first time Dr. Holladay tried to find the heartbeat but I had just had a sugar test and the munchkin was moving around like crazy so he never could get it and had to do an ultrasound so we could see the heartbeat. His response was “Oh, that’s good.” Deadpan. Not even a smile or a comment about my baby already having its first sugar high. By this point I’m so ready to get out of there and it has only been about 5 minutes. He never asks me if I have any questions or concerns. Apparently the phrase “Everything looks great” is supposed to clear up all worries a first time expecting mother has. As soon as I’m out of the exam room and have paid my bill, I go straight to Dr. Holladay’s office. He is my main doctor and told me he wants me to stop by after all my visits just to let him know how I’m doing. I see his nurse outside his office and she is immediately all smiles and asks how I am doing. Dr. Holladay is in the O.R. and won’t be back for another 15 minutes or so but she tells me I am welcome to stay and wait if I want to talk to him, or I can ask her any questions I have. I tell her about my weight loss and problems eating and she gives me some suggestions and tells me that the baby will get what it needs even if I don’t. I ask her about my new allergic reaction to my wedding rings. Apparently it’s the alkaline in the metal. She told me I looked great and had a glow. The entire conversation just made me feel so much better. I finally get that feeling I needed: some cares about me and my baby.

Overall, I LOVE my practice and until today I hadn’t had a single bad experience (unless I count the blood draw, but that is pretty typical anywhere I have my blood drawn). Everyone else I’ve met with has just been beyond nice. So I don’t hate my practice; I just had a bad appointment. After I left, I called my sister in law who goes to the same practice and Dr. X is her least favorite as well. He delivered one of my nephews and she said he did a great job in delivery though so that is somewhat comforting. He just doesn’t have the best bedside manner I guess. Maybe I’m being harsh but this man could deliver my baby. Is a little small talk to make me feel more comfortable too much to ask? I don't think so.

My dad (who is a doctor, FYI) says I am just used to having extra special care and just regular care doesn't cut it with me anymore, which is probably true. My pediatrician was my dad's best friend. The nurse practitioner I saw in college worked with my dad for years and years and I had known her just as long. Now, I go to the doctors care where my dad works sometimes and spend my entire visit hearing how awesome he is from everyone, not to mention I rarely have to wait. I found Dr. Holladay on my own and got pretty lucky I think. So the point is: I'm used to feeling extra special at the doctor. Does that make me spoiled? Probably, but I think everyone deserves to feel like that especially when expecting their first baby. I'm going to give the next doctor a chance but if I'm still not happy I will insist on seeing Dr. Holladay from then on out. I'm not sure what they will say to that, but I am determined to do that no matter what they say. After all, I'm paying them for my care so it should be the care I want.

Baby Watts is doing just great in there as far as I can tell. I thought we would be able to have the ultrasound at my next appointment but Dr. X wants to wait until I’m 24 weeks (another reason not to like him). So now we have the long wait to the first week in October to know if we are having a boy or girl!