Friday, August 5, 2011

16 Weeks Appointment: Drama, Drama, Drama

I saw a new doctor for my appointment yesterday, which will happen for most of my upcoming appointments. I’m in a pretty big practice (8 doctors) and they like you to see everyone because you don’t know who will be on call when your baby is born. Before today I had only seen my doctor and one other doctor both of whom I just loved. They made me feel totally at ease and I felt like they really cared about me and my baby. That is definitely not how I felt yesterday. First of all, the doctor’s (I shall call him doctor x) phone rings as he is walking into the room and instead of saying “Excuse me, I’ll be right back” he proceeds to answer the phone right there and carry on a 5 minute conversation while I’m just sitting there. Granted, as far as I could tell it was work related but still not a great first impression. At this point I don’t even know his name. I do, however, know the name of the person he is speaking to on the phone (Candace). He finally says “Sorry about that. Doctor X.” He then proceeds to scan my chart at record speed “X, Y, Z looks good” he says. “Umm…I’ve lost 4 pounds since my last visit. Should I be worried about that?” He then tells me that I shouldn’t and I’m trying to tell him somewhat about how I’ve been feeling and slowly fading into mumbling because I can tell he really doesn’t care. He walks over pulls out the bed extender and then just looks at me like I am apparently supposed to know what I am doing. As this is my first appointment in the OB suite, I have no clue but assume lying down is the right choice. He doesn’t ever tell me what he is going to do, he just starts measuring my stomach and then listening to the heartbeat without saying anything about it. I try to tell the story about the first time Dr. Holladay tried to find the heartbeat but I had just had a sugar test and the munchkin was moving around like crazy so he never could get it and had to do an ultrasound so we could see the heartbeat. His response was “Oh, that’s good.” Deadpan. Not even a smile or a comment about my baby already having its first sugar high. By this point I’m so ready to get out of there and it has only been about 5 minutes. He never asks me if I have any questions or concerns. Apparently the phrase “Everything looks great” is supposed to clear up all worries a first time expecting mother has. As soon as I’m out of the exam room and have paid my bill, I go straight to Dr. Holladay’s office. He is my main doctor and told me he wants me to stop by after all my visits just to let him know how I’m doing. I see his nurse outside his office and she is immediately all smiles and asks how I am doing. Dr. Holladay is in the O.R. and won’t be back for another 15 minutes or so but she tells me I am welcome to stay and wait if I want to talk to him, or I can ask her any questions I have. I tell her about my weight loss and problems eating and she gives me some suggestions and tells me that the baby will get what it needs even if I don’t. I ask her about my new allergic reaction to my wedding rings. Apparently it’s the alkaline in the metal. She told me I looked great and had a glow. The entire conversation just made me feel so much better. I finally get that feeling I needed: some cares about me and my baby.
Overall, I LOVE my practice and until today I hadn’t had a single bad experience (unless I count the blood draw, but that is pretty typical anywhere I have my blood drawn). Everyone else I’ve met with has just been beyond nice. So I don’t hate my practice; I just had a bad appointment. After I left, I called my sister in law who goes to the same practice and Dr. X is her least favorite as well. He delivered one of my nephews and she said he did a great job in delivery though so that is somewhat comforting. He just doesn’t have the best bedside manner I guess. Maybe I’m being harsh but this man could deliver my baby. Is a little small talk to make me feel more comfortable too much to ask? I don't think so.
My dad (who is a doctor, FYI) says I am just used to having extra special care and just regular care doesn't cut it with me anymore, which is probably true. My pediatrician was my dad's best friend. The nurse practitioner I saw in college worked with my dad for years and years and I had known her just as long. Now, I go to the doctors care where my dad works sometimes and spend my entire visit hearing how awesome he is from everyone, not to mention I rarely have to wait. I found Dr. Holladay on my own and got pretty lucky I think. So the point is: I'm used to feeling extra special at the doctor. Does that make me spoiled? Probably, but I think everyone deserves to feel like that especially when expecting their first baby. I'm going to give the next doctor a chance but if I'm still not happy I will insist on seeing Dr. Holladay from then on out. I'm not sure what they will say to that, but I am determined to do that no matter what they say. After all, I'm paying them for my care so it should be the care I want.
Baby Watts is doing just great in there as far as I can tell. I thought we would be able to have the ultrasound at my next appointment but Dr. X wants to wait until I’m 24 weeks (another reason not to like him). So now we have the long wait to the first week in October to know if we are having a boy or girl!

5 comments:

Shawna and Family said...

Aw, I'm sorry Emily! I too had a Dr. that I didn't like at all, and horror of horrors...she ended up delivering Ben. I hated every minute of it. If it hadn't have been for the awesome Labor and Delivery nurses at the hospital I would have killed someone! But on that note... it wasn't her bedside manner, (that was great!) I just didn't have confidence in her skills! Sorry you have to wait until you're 24 weeks for your ultrasound! I recently had a friend who had hers around 19 weeks... a girl!! Then she had one well after, come to find, she was REALLY having a boy! So, think of it in terms of accuracy... there is more to see at 24 weeks!!
Hope you get your appetite back soon!!

Layne Stalvey said...

The best thing to focus on is that Baby Watts is healthy- and that is awesome. P.S. Once you hit 15-16 weeks you can pay sneak a peek places about $70 if you're dying to find out the gender. I found out at 15 weeks. I was wayyy impatient!!

Rebecca said...

sounds like dr. laffite! he's was my regular dr. but funnily enough i never saw him in the OB suite. i didnt really like him too much. he seemed to try to make small talk with me but never seemed to pay attention.

Susannah said...

This may just be craziness from another first-time mom, but I don't think it's out of line AT ALL to expect great OB care! Its good you have questions-- better to ask a dr. than get answers on the internet or something! They should know that. I'm being seen my a midwife set, and they always seem so concerned and take all the time I need. I hope you click with the rest of your drs.! PS, 24 weeks? That would have driven me CRAZY! You go, girl, for not stomping your feet and crying on the spot.

Joanie Harbor said...

doctor x sounds lame! sorry. i really don't like it when dr's act like that either. patients deserve better. hope everything goes better in the future!